I remember the day we lost Sydney like it was yesterday.
Now it's been six months and there hasn't been a day that she hasn't crossed my mind.

February 7, 2013 I had gotten home from school early as usual and was hanging out with Davis. Things were normal until I got a text from my friend Liz saying, "Erika, did you hear about Sydney?" I was a little thrown off and thought maybe she had gotten in a car accident or something. Before I could even reply my phone started to ring, it was my best friend Ellie. Barely able to talk, Ellie told me the news. I was in shock and didn't believe her. I remember asking her if this was all a joke. It wasn't. It was as real as it gets. I cried and cried and cried. I had lost one of my best friends. The next few days were very hard and emotional. Davis was going to Washington for the weekend to see his family and I was going to be left alone with a million thoughts.

February 8, 2013 I didn't go to school. I had, had a restless night and got little sleep. I had to take Davis to the airport so I got my sad self together and took him. I was excited for him to go be with his family, but I honestly needed him more than ever. I was a mess. After I dropped him off I cried the whole way home. I didn't want to do anything that night, but ODC had to perform at half time. Luckily, I had Ellie by my side and we made it through the performance. We danced for Sydney that night. After we danced Ellie, Liz, and I went to Hunter's house to have a girls night. We had all been close to Sydney and needed each other during this hard time. We looked at old pictures and told stories about Sydney. We laughed together and we cried together. It was one of the best experiences and I am so grateful that I had them. 

February 9, 2013 I went to Happy Sumo with my sister Laci. Sushi was Sydney's favorite food. It was hard for me to be there, since one of the last times I had been there was for Syd's seventeenth birthday.
That night, I decided to go to the gym and work out to get things off my mind. I was missing my boyfriend and Sydney like crazy and was an emotional wreck. It was snowing a lot so the roads were icy. I was driving on University Parkway when I had a close encounter with truck. I was going straight threw the light and he turned right in front of me while I was going forty mph. If the roads would have been normal, I could have just slammed on my breaks and everything would have been fine, but I couldn't. All I could do was swerve into the other lane. I lost control of my car and some how I ended up safely on the side of the road. I know it sounds cheesy, but I honestly believe that Sydney was there with me and saved me that night. If I would have hit them, I would have totaled my car and been hurt pretty badly. As much as I hated the fact that Sydney wasn't with me on earth, I was so grateful that I had her as an angel by my side that night. I cried and cried some more. It was becoming too normal to cry at any and all times.

A few days went by. Things were getting a little easier, but it was still harder than ever. Davis finally came home and it felt so good to not feel so alone. I had to prepare myself to see Sydney for the last time. I was nervous to go to her viewing. I did't know how I was going to react when I saw her for the last time. When I arrived, the line was HUGE. Sydney had so many friends and everyone loved her. I met up with Ellie and luckily she was towards the front. While we waited, my stomach had the craziest butterflies. Every inch closer, I got more and more nervous. I had millions of emotions flying threw me.  I was mad at Sydney for putting us all through this. I was mad that I had to see her like this and feel this way. When we finally reached her, everything just went away. I felt numb. I then had an overwhelming feeling of peace. I knew that even though Sydney had made the wrong decision, it was what she wanted and I had to be okay with it. I finally found closure and boy did it feel good. Yes, I was still emotional and sad, but it was from that point on that I knew I had to be okay with out her. As much as I wanted her here, she wasn't and wouldn't be. 
this is my favorite picture of sydney and i. we were in hong kong together and wearing the same lip stick.
I miss Sydney. I can't believe that six months have already gone by. Everyday something reminds me of her. I dream about her sometimes. I love her so much and I am grateful to have such an amazing angel watching over me. Sydney was an amazing friend and I'm happy that I had the opportunity to know her. I LOVE YOU SYDNEY TAYLOR BRUNING.

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